Not So Relationship Goals


Mitchell Reeves

Man crush Monday’s, woman crush Wednesday’s and Instagram posts seem to define the status of relationships today.

Since everyone can see that they’re together, it validates the relationship. Human interaction is on a strong decline while the use of social media skyrockets.

Guys don’t ask for girls’ numbers in person, they “slide in the DM’s.”

Girls edit their selfies to create a false persona on social media websites.

Break-ups are rare in person. No one has the courage to do anything major in person. It’s all over text.

I’ve slid into the DM’s a time or two, and the majority of my communication is through texting. I’m not saying that all of this is bad; it’s just the over-abuse of these things that has caused problems for relationships, especially in high school.

I love Twitter. But there’s one huge issue trending over the last year or so. “Relationship goals;” unrealistic, impractical, shallow and pointless goals that these accounts have made important.

I see pictures and posts of girls getting random surprises of Tiffany and Company boxes, Nike shoes and compression shorts and bouquets of 100 roses. Let’s be honest here, a 16-17 year old guy might have a job, and even if he does, it’s probably minimum wage. When I had a job, I was paying for food and gas. Tiffany and Company is far out of the equation.

Aside from these unrealistic goals, it’s the realistic goals that have been completely ignored. Loyalty, commitment, affection and sincerity are no longer priorities. Guys catch ridicule for open affection and love to their significant other, called “soft” or “spineless.” No, he’s not spineless; he’s being a gentleman, an ideology that is long forgotten in this generation.

Girls deserved to be treated like a princess, your princess. Girls should be respected, cherished and made to feel that they’re as beautiful as we know they are. But instead, they’re used, cheated on and lied to.

Now this isn’t every guy and this isn’t every relationship. There are still the few good men who know how a girl should be treated. However, there’s only few girls that still believe that they deserve to be treated as such. Girls have been objectified to the point where they see themselves at worthless and unworthy of proper treatment, so they settle for what they think they deserve.

However, guys aren’t the only ones at fault here.

Girls, please, communicate. The games you play to see if a guy really cares are what’s going to drive them away. When you’re upset, tell them you’re upset. Me personally, I’m tired of hearing “I’m fine” when you’re clearly not.

As far as both genders are concerned, quit hiding emotions. Express how you feel all the time, and if one party is more dedicated than the other, it’s time to find someone else. Communication is the key to a functioning, happy relationship. If you find yourself having to conceal emotions then that’s evidence enough to cut it off and move on.

People date for less than a month and claim to be “in love.” I know that love has no timeline, but it takes longer than a month to know you love someone. You may be infatuated with that one person, but it takes time, a lot of time, to know that you love someone. You have to see him on his best days, his worst days, happy, sad, mad, tired and ecstatic before you can come to that conclusion.

When you love someone, that emotion hits you like a brick, but a soft, inviting brick. Butterflies in your stomach never seem to calm when they’re around. When you love someone, you love all of their imperfections; you find peace and serenity in their presence. That’s real love. The simple truth is that you can’t look for love. Love will find you.