“What is your family like?” she asks me.

This is a simple question that should spark a simple response. My mom and dad are still together so everything must be great. But behind that is a twisted path that leads to both confusion and love. My family is one of completion, one of divorce, one of adoption and one of loss.

Before my parents married, Mom had my sister, Morgan. Not soon after, Morgan became a child of divorce and her birth father moved hours away in the early years of her life. As a young child, I witnessed the toll of divorce on my sister and just how soul destroying it can be to a person.

Mom grew up as a military brat right outside of London, England. Her father was a fantastic man full of wit and charisma that suddenly disappeared in a plane accident. Being sent to a new home in Arkansas without a father and without answers left my mother emotionally paralyzed. Mom had to deal with pain on her own since her family was grieving in their own ways. She was afraid to grow close to somebody just because of the fear of losing them.

Dad’s family life was labeled by a simple word. Adopted. His birth mother had him at 16 and did not hesitate to put him up. Knowing he was not wanted from the first second of his life left him hoping too find somewhere to finally belong. After divorce, his adopted father remarried and my grandmother settled in San Diego.

My mother’s step-grandfather was the most incredible man I know. He was genuine, caring and soothing to all around him. His lap was my favorite place in the world until the cancer made him to weak to hold me on one knee. I lost him halfway through my fifth grade year.

My family has grieved and it has loved. My family has separated and come together.

But most of all- my family has conquered.

Morgan grew to cope with the pain and learned to forgive as time went on. Divorce broke her, but then it helped her to bloom into a strong, independent young woman. Morgan is stronger than I know I ever will be.

My grandmother, Lynda, filled the loss of my grandfather. Taking on both roles, she provided spiritual and physical comfort to help me through tough times. She is a woman of faith and is an ultimate provider. From a distance, my other grandmother, Gigi, sends sweet letters of encouragement. Her visits fill my heart and repair the relationship she has with my father.

My parents over came their struggles and became champions of their life. Mom learned to let others in and eventually helped Dad find exactly where he was meant to be. Together they created the best environment for me to grow up in. One of laughter and one of love. One of learning to grow from your situations and to always reach for a brighter future. That you cannot choose blood, but you can choose family.