Teen Marriage Misconceptions


Jae Kubena

Rosemary Gregg, Editor

An estimated 40 to 50 percent of marriages in the U.S. end in divorce. So, in other words, the chances of a marriage working out is about the equivalent of flipping a quarter. There are several reasons that people divorce, such as finances, infidelity and age. However, according to marriage.com, the real three major leading causes of divorce are laziness, lack of communication skills and high expectations.

People often look down upon young marriage, saying things like “You’re throwing away your future,” or “It’s just gonna end in a divorce,” but divorces can happen at any age. Granted, maturity is a factor, but two mature young adults can handle a marriage, especially when it’s with the right person. Two months ago, I got engaged. We took a couple of weeks to tell people because we weren’t sure how they would react, but ultimately, we decided that we were going to get married next summer and it was best to be upfront about it.  

As a society, Americans tend to value success, defined by financial stability above all else. But true “success” isn’t how much money you’re bringing home, while it can make things comfortable and easier. It’s how happy you are. I always wanted to make something of myself, to start at the bottom and work my way up on my own. I’ve always focused on my future, and just because I’m getting married right after high school doesn’t mean that those dreams are any less achievable.

I never planned to be getting married at 18 any more than I expected to meet the love of my life at such a young age. I’ve always listened to my head, focused on my “success” and  ignored my heart in the process. But then, I realized, what good is a college degree if you don’t end up with the person that you were supposed to be with?

It’s true, the “one” will wait, which is why I don’t feel the need to. You date to figure out your feelings for each other and establish a stable relationship, but once you’ve done that, it’s like you just know that they’re the one and that’s where you belong. Getting engaged hasn’t crushed my dreams–if anything, it has strengthened them, because I know that I have the support of my future spouse. A wise woman once told me that “When you know, you just know.”

Some marriages end in divorce because both parties felt like they had to get married. But a marriage by choice is the strongest one that you can have. Our choices led by our desires define us.

Some people are just simply worth the risk, because a chance at a life together is worth any possible obstacles that the two of you may come across. It’s human nature to fall in love over and over again, but we all have one person that we’re meant to share a life with.

I believe in myself. If I had read this a couple of years ago, I would’ve laughed and crumbled this paper up and disregarded it. But being here, in the moment, I know that it’s right, and my faith in God has played into that.

I expect to face adversity, challenges and struggles. I expect to be looked down upon. I could run, but running from what I really want has become tiresome. I know that without a doubt, I can do it, that I should do it. I can get my degree, get the dream job and the future that I’ve always wanted.

Marriages are honorable, encrypted by the joining of hands and of two families, and young marriages fall nothing short of that.  

When we lose someone that we were close to, we all wish for the same thing–more time. Time is all we have, and no one knows how much of it they’ve got. Life is short, so we should make the most out of it, because we can never make up for wasted time. I could have years or even just moments, but at least I’ll know that I’m spending that time with the right person.