Until the age of four, I was accustomed to living life with my mom. I was never one to have an imaginary friend–I had a puppy, but I was longing for something more, someone else. In early summer of 2003, my mom broke the news to me that I would be a big sister. My life changed forever.

During my mom’s pregnancy, being a big sister meant nothing to me. The title was more material. I knew I would gain a member of my family, but I did not really know how that would affect me. Waiting for my sister to be born was tedious. I was impatient, wanting to know who this person would be and why it was such a big deal that I was going to be her sister.

Up until my sister came into the world, everything was all about me, and when she was finally born, I resented her. Why did she have to steal my spotlight? I suffered through weeks of her incessant newborn tears. I could not figure out why this little thing was so important or special. However, eventually the crying stopped, and she finally let me hold her and play with her. Like the Grinch, my heart started growing. For the first time, I finally felt like the big sister everyone told me I would be.

As my sister and I grew up, we were polar opposites. Constantly fighting, I was unable to see that sweet baby she once was. When we were younger and unable to compromise, I was incredibly ungrateful to have a sister. I didn’t even see the point in being a mentor if she was going to be so combative.

Eventually, I got tired of the fighting. I was bigger than that, and so was my sister. As a big sister, I am supposed to be a mentor to her, her keeper, her protector. I never thought when she was born that I would care so much about her, but now I want her to know everything about me, I want her at my side when I get married, I want her to tell me her secrets. My sister started out as this foreign creature but is now someone I could never live without. My path as a big sister has been full of ups and downs, but I couldn’t choose a better girl to go through it with.