I am an array of pronouns and adjectives. A 17-year-old junior in high school. A female, usually. A mixture of African-American and Asian. Smart, kind, and a tad bit funny. A lover of anime and manga and comics. A journalist, a leader, a spiritual Christian. A daughter and a sister. And a lesbian.

I am a born and raised Arkansan. I have family who has lived here their entire life. I have devoted myself to being a good citizen, and when I go out of state, I proudly claim where I’m from. That is, until recently.

Being openly homosexual is a battle. A constant struggle to remain steadfast and strong in who you are, and to not let the barrage of hatred and blatant inequality that one who identifies as a homosexual faces. It’s difficult to tell friend from foe. And for the most part, I have found a network of allies.

I have never felt truly threatened by anyone when I decide to share that I am a lesbian. I live with the fear that I will lose the people I love because they do not accept me, but I have never felt as if my life was in danger.

And I’m far luckier than most in the LGBT community. I may not live in an area that loudly proclaims its support for the LGBT people, but it was not so bad.

But now, with the passing of the SB 202 law, which has been described by the Arkansas Times as a “road map to gay discrimination,” I have lost the respect I once held for my home state.

The law, passed earlier this year, states that its purpose is to create a unified discrimination law across the state. It avoids breaking the Equal Protection Clause by not directly mentioning homosexual people, who are argued to not be a named protected people under the clause.

It simply states that cities and counties in Arkansas can’t exceed the state law protecting people from discrimination. But sadly, Arkansas permits discrimination against homosexuals, and with the passing of this law, it allows even the most supporting and open areas in Arkansas to become victim to blatant homophobia.

I recall the moment I heard about the law. The rushing noise in my ears, the shaking of my body, and the chocked sob noise escaped me. I remember my body heating up and the distinct feeling of rage, disappointment and fear. I recall the tears streaming down my face, and my primal need to destroy something. To find a way to make my rage physical.

Because at the end of the day, there is no good moral reason for this law. And I continued to question the empty air around me, why?

I have never understood the existence of hate. Such a vile and cruel emotion that leads only to destruction and disharmony. What causes someone to hate another person, simply because they are different? It seems that in every instance society takes a step forward, a step towards love and equality, there are always the people that drag us two steps back.

And I’m so tired of it. We, the people, people who bleed, and cry, and feel, and live and die just like everybody else, we are so tired of this discrimination and constant reminder that if we want to have the same rights that are given to other people, then we have to fight so much harder for it.

I am a U.S citizen, and I am supposed to live in a country where all men are supposed to be created equal. Where I have the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. But because I’m different, because I do not fit the mold of what society considers good, I am to have less rights then those around me.

And it’s frustrating to know that even if I love my country, even if I fight for it and believe in it, that I will always be just a little less equal.

That I will have to face judgment and condemnation from people that I have yet to even meet. That if I start a family, my wife and child will be scrutinized because we won’t fit the “normal” family mold. That my marriage may not be considered a real marriage, and that my wife and I may not get to have the same benefits that a heterosexual couple will indefinitely receive.

But as seen throughout history, the fight for justice must go on. To quote a man who fought for justice until the very end, and a personal hero of mine, “to allow injustice anywhere, is to allow injustice everywhere.”