Rape.
needs no dramatic introduction, no definition or explanation of why it is wrong, why it is a violation of basic human rights and immoral to the core. Every competent, normal American high school student knows rape is wrong. Or so I thought.
I watched the full “20/20” news coverage of the Steubenville, Ohio rape case. Sure, I had heard people talk about it, though I was too busy with senior year to look it up myself. Sure, I had thought how wrong it was and how those boys who raped 16-year-old Jane Doe were douchebags and deserved to be convicted. But after learning the full story, witnessing myself the recorded accounts, I realize it was not just two indecent boys who were to blame. It is our fault. My fault. Your fault. Our generation and the culture we have created for ourselves are at fault.
Adults- television broadcasters, criminal investigators and parents- are all having their say, but they do not truly understand. They do not understand our culture. They did not grow up in our live-streaming, ever public, constant bombardment of information all the time every moment, hyper-speed lives. How could hundreds of posts made, tweets tweeted, images shot and videos taken about this drunk girl used as a sexual play toy have happened without one single phone call for help, without one person putting down his or her phone and drink and saving her? Adults do not understand. I will admit, on the surface, it is hard for me to understand, but that was not why I was so moved. Why did I call my best friend hysterical and crying to the point words were challenging to form, telling her never to go to a party without me? I realized it was because I knew below the surface; this crime is not about two boys’ decisions one night (who were actually just your typical star football players with no past criminal record and a good family). What happened at that party (or rather “parties” since they took her to three) was not an isolated incident.
Yes, at most parties, girls do not get raped, but people drink and drink too much, fool around and then share videos and pictures of their own and others’ night of debauchery and stupidity with each other through social media and text. We see something strange (or maybe and sadly not too strange), “funny” or “exciting” and our first thought is not to ask ourselves what is really happening, if something is wrong or to try and stop whatever is happening. Our instincts are to get our phones and document it. We want to be the first to share it. We don’t want to be left out of the loop. If we did not document it somehow, it is like it never happened. And indeed, had the accused and their friends not documented their mistreatment of Jane, it would be like the crimes never happened. She woke up, naked, without any memory of what had happened to her the night before. The boys denied they raped her; perhaps not realizing what they did was classified as rape under Ohio law since fingers did the penetration. It was just one night in the small town of Steubenville after a great football game. The irony is obvious. They convicted themselves.
All the true offenders have not gotten the justice they deserve. Two boys were tried and found guilty, but as juveniles. One will spend one year in juvi for sexual assault and the other a year for the assault and another for the naked photos he sent of Jane. This is far less punishment than they would have received if tried as adult, and far less than they deserve. Whether they will have to register as sex offenders for the rest of their lives will not be decided until they finish their sentence. But this is not what troubles me so deeply. What about the teens who took photos and let the rape take place? What about those who spread it around, brutally calling Jane a “whore” and a “drunk b***h”? What about the parents of the three homes where these parties took place?
It is against the law to witness a felony and not report it. We have an obligation to help or get help. Owners of homes can also be held responsible for any alcohol minors consumed while on their property under the law. And what about Jane’s friends? It may not be a crime to be a bad friend, but how can anyone think she should let her friend, too drunk to walk straight and sick, go with guys from a rival school? One friend said she begged her not to go, but Jane said she was okay. Do not trust a drunken person’s opinion on his or her own level of drunkenness! As a friend, she should have forced Jane to go home, driven her home herself, or at the very least, gone with her and kept Jane safe.
Why did her friends do nothing? Why did none of the witnesses report it? It is not because they are bad people or because there is something wrong with their minds or even because they were a little tipsy. It is not our first instinct to stop and think in this ever increasingly high-pace world. We see so much about others and ourselves through social media that there are no secrets and sooner or later, most things become normal. Drunken people at a party, normal. Tweets about drink, stupid “b***hes, normal. Sexual behavior made public, normal. But where is the line between just immoral and wrong?
Many teens see nude pictures of people on a regular bases, but taking nude photos without consent is against the law. Sexual intercourse when someone does not consent or is unable to give consent (drunk for example) is illegal. Somehow, though, the lines have grayed.
It all boils down to desensitization. We hear that all the time: the violence on television, movies and video games, pornography online and social media all desensitizes us and blurs our understanding of right and wrong. So it is not our fault because we do not control our environment, and it was not Jane’s friends’ fault she got raped, right? Wrong.
We have a choice everyday to do the right thing or the wrong thing. Some things in life are gray, but others, no matter how we deny it or blame the information age we live in, we know are wrong.
Teens, myself included, have the tendency to act narcissistically, to see things and act only in our own best interest, like the world revolves around us and as if they will live forever. Truthfully, we are not going to live forever and you mean no more or no less than any other person. We only have one life to get it right. Do not be the boy who thinks he can do anything he wants without consequence.
Do not be the person who sits on the sidelines without thinking and not stepping in. Do not be the teen who retweets that spiteful comment or shares that embarrassing photo. Do not be that friend who lets her friend be used or go out alone. If you are, it is your fault too. For me, making a difference was calling my friend and making her promise, swear to me she will not go to a party without me, and also in writing this column. You are going to make a difference to our generation. Your choice is what kind of difference you are going to make.
