I never thought someone else’s near-death experience could empty my chest rather than their own. A Honda-sized hole is still wedged between trees on my way home. The tire skid marks are still semi-permanently etched into the black and orange asphalt. And by some miracle, he is still alive.

As his car lifted from the Earth like a UFO making its final departure, I saw his headlights rotate 360 degrees through my rearview mirror. My body immediately stopped. Calling “911” seemed like a feeble hope, but I called. Praying felt like a useless act of faith, but I did that too. Brought to my knees in my bedroom, I pleaded with God for eight hours that night.
So many times now, I have convinced myself I am in control of this earth or even my life.

So often, I forget that death is not a game or a gamble. It is absolute and real and malicious and unforeseeable. My eyes were bloodshot for three weeks afterward, due to both lack of sleep and an abundance of tears. The whole situation didn’t feel real, the possibility of death didn’t compute in my head. He was only 18. As I sat in my room wondering what would happen to him, I was again reminded what the consequences of forgetting life’s worth is.

As both a millennial and a teenager, I have led my myself to believe everyone will automatically receive at least a 21-year free trial of life. I take advantage of the fact that I am now alive, and believe that I will continue to be alive. This generation is so used to getting a fair chance. With technology advancing, illnesses being cured and the economy prospering, a teen dying isn’t a common thought in suburban Arkansas. However, it is still a possibility.

The boy in the accident was not 80 years old. He had not gotten to experience life to the degree I know he wanted to, and though he is still alive, both his life and mine have been tremendously altered. I guess I forgot that life isn’t fair for everyone, we do not get a guaranteed amount of time. Seeing this wreck, and the aftermath not only on the car, but on people’s lives, shocked me back into cherishing how amazing all of my experiences are.