Family, according to society, should be your blood relatives.  They are the ones who have raised you, have been around your entire life and have provided for you. Your immediate family is supposed to be the two people who conceived you and any other siblings you may have.  But what about the people in your life who aren’t blood related, but are more your family than any blood relative you may have?

I was raised by my biological mother and my stepfather. My biological father provided monthly help but he wasn’t “Dad.” My biological mother raised me, but she was everything I never wanted to be.

My mom and stepdad divorced when I was 16, and I thought it was the end of the world. I took on more responsibility than most people my age don’t have until their 20s.  As a result, my grades dropped, and so did my self-esteem. I felt alone and not in control of my own life. But that was the shift to my real life, the one I’m living now, and the person I’m becoming today. My stepdad and the woman he is engaged to have not only shown me the kind of person that I can become, but what I can accomplish beyond Arkansas. How many teenagers can say that two adult figures in their life actually encouraged them to go to college 16 hours away?

My stepdad and soon to be stepmom have been the family and support I never had with my biological parents. They are strict when they need to be and trusting when they know I will do the right thing. We are close without them being in my business, and we give each other space when it is needed. Because of this bond and trust, I don’t even like going anywhere on weekends, because I really don’t have a desire to leave home.

I hate the misconception that your family has to share blood with you. Family is not blood, and blood is not always family. Your family is not just your closest authority figures either. It is your peers, co-workers, neighbors, anyone you have chosen to associate closely with and trust completely. No feeling will compare to the unconditional love and support that comes from these people. That is family.

When you are old enough, you can choose who gets to watch you succeed and who gets to share life’s special moments with you, and there is nothing wrong with that.